Toni Colley-Lee, EFT-CP II

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Ramblings of an emotional health worker, usually prompted by some client, or personal confusion in life!  If the reflection here sounds familiar, then perhaps the realizations and concerns voiced are helpful as well.  Please do comment with your own insights, cuz I need them too!  Thanks!

 

Toni

By silverliningvillages, Jul 7 2015 10:40AM


Procrastination: Fear's Ugly Stepchild!


By Toni Colley-Lee


Putting things off looks like a viable solution at the time that we try it, but it never works, not really. So why do people do it? To avoid conflict, change, fear of the unknown? There are many reasons people try this tactic but there is one major reason to forget about using it. Whatever you are trying to avoid, is not going anywhere, and in most cases, putting it off only makes it worse!


There is another reason to drop the habit of procrastination, and have no doubt, it is usually a well practiced habit. Procrastination greatly impedes progress. You can't go anywhere as long as you are working so hard to stay in the same place. It is imporssible to move forward in life, when your intentions are to stay planted in the behavior that is comfortable and safe, which for procrastinators means "the same." Sameness means just that -- same behavior, same results, no movement.


If you choose this tactic in one area of your life, then the habit usually creeps over into other areas of your life. If you procrastinate at work, then you probably procrastinate at home, with your kids, with your spouse, with anything difficult that might make your progress in life easier, more fulfilling, better. That means you might put off educational opportunities that would help you improve your career, or avoid playing ball with your kids till tomorrow. The results are clear; less money than your more industrious colleagues, and more distance from your kids when they grow up. Is that actually what you want?


The choice is based in overcoming whatever fear is keeping you from taking action. Sometimes it is trying to avoid conflict. Why? Conflict happens so simply learn to deal with it more effectively. Sometimes it is fear of failing anyway after having put in so much effort, so it is better not to define that for sure to be the case, so you won't feel like more of a failure and know it to be true for sure. Well that's a catch 22 that will keep you on a treadmill for sure! Sometimes it is a fear of becoming a critical parent, and causing more harm because maybe you remember playing ball with your father who was overly critical and how a game that should have been fun, became yet another indicator of your inferiority and you don't want to do that to your child. Well play ball differently! Clearly you know exactly what does not work, so do just the opposite. Keep it fun, light, easy and don't criticize, only assist and teach.


No matter what it is, if fear is your guide, teacher and friend in this matter, you need a new friend and a better pathway to deal with the issues.



Procrastination:  Fear's Ugly Stepchild!
Procrastination: Fear's Ugly Stepchild!

So you have to ask yourself if your goal in life is to run in place and move only as slowly as your fears or laziness (which is also based in fear) will take you. So what's in your wallet?


By guest, Jul 6 2015 02:01AM

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